Give Me Love
by romeothewriter
Summary: Based on Ed Sheeran's "Give Me Love", a prompt I received from a Tumblr user. AU one shot


**_A/N: Okay so this is based on a suggestion by a Tumblr user. Staubrey based on Ed Sheeran's "Give Me Love". If you haven't heard it, you gotta get it together lol. No but for real. It's a beautiful song._**

She fumbled with the device, her vision blurred by the liquid now rushing through her veins. Her hands shook with a vigor unrivaled, cheeks flushed a dark maroon. Another night under the influence. Another night driven to reckless decisions where the inner turmoil would rage on for hours upon end until she would fall unconscious without recollection. It had to mean something. It was always _her_, never anyone else. It had been so for years. All that she ever imagined, whether it be drunk or sober, was emerald orbs and long, honey tresses. She loved when they cascaded down slender arms and toned shoulders. Even the smile, tight lips and minute curl at each edge, drove her into a maddening joy that no other could supply. Tonight, she would call. She had to call, but - what could she possibly say? Where could such a conversation end up in her intoxicated state? She only wished that she could feel those thin, pink lips slide against hers. She desired to hold that slender body in her arms, kiss the ivory skin of her neck. She wished to hold her forever. This was her happiness. She had never known happiness before this, and in that, she had never known misery _like _this.

She had slept around, found a bed with the prettiest faces in town. She was a household name, and they called her an angel because she spread joy to the most hopeless of souls. Then she adopted another hobby. She, once the obstacle that thwarted love's advances, allowed it access. She gave others the chance to love. Example? She used to hook up with her best friend Chloe on occasion. Then Beca came along, and she had shown interest. She had allowed Beca to take Chloe out, but even if she hadn't, it would have been inevitable. The two were in love. It was plain to see. She had just sped up the process. What could not be seen was the fact that she, Stacie Conrad who had vowed many moons ago to never fall in love, had in fact broken her own oath before she even registered what was happening.

Love. Such a reckless emotion. Each time she considered making it known, she would run, maybe not from _her _but to him. To them. Jack or Jose or Jim. Whoever filled her glass faster. Whoever _seemed_ to go down smoother. She would drown in it until she forgot, but that would only last a few minutes. She would overcompensate, and with just a few more drinks following forgetting, she would remember too much and fumble with her phone. She would dial the number, staring at the digits as if they were a foreign language. Her trembling thumb would hover over the taunting green button, but it would never complete its descent. Tonight was different.

Tonight, she had woken up alone, no stranger or pretty face beside her unless you counted the one etched to the inside of her eyelids. She didn't. It had been so for the past several nights. That in itself was odd. It was unnatural, unnerving. Tonight, tears were splattered across her shirt and pillow case although she was oblivious to the gloss blanketing her eyes. The bottle lay beside her, half empty or half full. She sat up with haste, grabbing the glass off of the bedside table and filling it up. Her thoughts began to race once more as they had been doing before she had succumbed to the alcohol. The night sky remained dark. She hadn't been out too long. The dreams had gained power. Her thoughts were overbearing. Something had to be done. Tonight.

Tonight, she had gone three drinks further than she ever had. Tonight, as she sat alone in her room, she was too far gone to comprehend her actions. The green button illuminated beneath her finger, the ringing louder than it had ever been as it resonated through the empty house. Then there was that entrancing voice appearing on the other end, and her mind went blank, but her mouth was in operation.

"Hello? Hello? Stace? Are you there?"

"Hey, Bree."

"Hey. Are - are you okay? Did something happen?"

"Uh, n-no, why?"

"Well-" There was a beat of silence. "It's three in the morning."

"I just - talk to me."

"Talk to you? Stace, it's three. What happened? Where are you? Do you need-"

"Please. Just talk to me, Bree."

Another beat then a cautious response. "If I - talk to you, will you tell me what's wrong?" No answer, and moments later, Stacie heard a series of shuffling on the other line. "Okay, Stace, I - I'm on my way. Just give me ten minutes. I will-"

"No, no." Her voice was raspy as she restrained fresh tears of anguish, the storm within brewing once more. "No, I'm fine. I - please. Just - talk."

"O - okay." It grew silent once more on her end. "I - well, about what?"

"Anything. Anything at all."

"Well, we won our case today. Put a child molester and murderer on death row."

"That's great, Bree. I'm - proud of you."

"Yes, and I treated myself to _two _slices of cheesecake today instead of one." Stacie chortled softly. "That puts us at 5-0 on the year. We're doing really well."

"You're phenomenal. I've always known you could do it, be the best."

The mirth was lost from Aubrey's voice within seconds, unable to ignore the evident.

"Stacie, I - I've known you for years. What's wrong? I'm worried about you."

She laughed lightly. "The great Aubrey Posen worried? I must sound like hell."

A small scoff. "Worse actually."

"I'm sorry."

"I don't want an apology. Just an explanation."

Another dense silence filled the line, the only sound being the uneven breathing of Stacie and the shallow breaths of Aubrey. If she was being honest, Aubrey would admit to believing that her heartbeat could be heard over their wavelength. She was terrified. She knew that Stacie was friendly, all too friendly at times, and it may have come back to collect the debt that she had accrued through her ways. A thick gulp cracked the silence, but it was Stacie's words, not her voice but her words, that shattered it.

"It's been awhile, a really long time, but - I still feel the same."

It was just above a whisper, and had Aubrey been any further from the phone, she would have missed it in its entirety. Nonetheless, the cryptic revelation had her mind reeling, searching for the meaning behind it.

"Stace," she called in a soft tone. "What do you mean? What-"

"Maybe I should let you go."

Aubrey felt her breath hitch. Although she knew that Stacie was beyond drunk, the sincerity was laid so thick across the words that it was impossible to debunk them. The message behind them seemed to be so much clearer yet she could not be sure. How could she be correct? Stacie Conrad did not love. The blonde had been present the day that the fifteen - year - old had vowed never to fall in love. She was also there when the twenty one - year old swore off of love, renewing the vow. Yet, people could change in three years...No, wait. That wasn't the point here. The point here was that Stacie had been running from the truth. The vow had been violated long ago.

"Stacie," she choked out, tears streaking down her flushed cheeks. "Stace, I-"

"I have to. I'm no good for you. I could - ask you, to give me a little bit of time, to let me fix - _me_, but - I know that there's nothing that I can fix. I - I have been trying to stop it, to - get away from it for years, long and painful years. I've been-" She expelled a bitter chuckle. "I've been playing hide and seek with myself for years now, with my heart, but - I - lately, I've been craving it more and more, and it's out of control, so I know that I have to let go because..." She trailed off.

"Why, Stacie?" She had to know. "Tell me why."

More silence, deafening silence despite the fact it lasted mere seconds. "I promised that - tonight I would call you, once - I was drunk enough, but then again, I - promise that every night."

"And - what changed tonight?"

"I couldn't fight it anymore. I've - been waking up alone for weeks now, and I know it's not because I've chosen that. I know that the only person I wanted here was the person that I couldn't have here because it would ruin everything. You - you're beautiful. You're only trying to make the world a better place, and - I'm part of the mess. I - I only did it because I knew that if I didn't distract myself, I wouldn't be able to stay away from you. I had to because if I didn't, it would wipe away the distance that I thought I'd created after all of this time, but now I know that I have done nothing but make it worse. I _needed_ to say something."

"And each of those nights, when you would have called, what would you have said?"

"I figured I wouldn't say a damn thing with my blood practically turned to alcohol." A soft giggle, but it was far from jubilant. "I just figured I would - make up some dumb excuse, and you would just think that I was drunk, so you wouldn't pay it any mind."

"Well, what would you have said if you had the ability to?"

Stacie did not hear the shuffling resume. "See, that's the funny thing. I've never drunk more than I have tonight, and it's tonight that I know everything I would have said."

Aubrey took a deep breath, anxiety coursing through her. "Tell me."

"I would tell you that - that I only just wanted the bare minimum. Whatever you would give me. Not because that's all you're worth to me, but because I know that's all I deserve, if any. I just - wanted to kiss you if it was just for a second when I dropped you off at work on the days you forget to put gas because you're so driven to get shit done." The blonde smiled, the sound of a door slamming muted by the truth being revealed. "I just wanted to take your hand each time it started to shake when you would pick up your briefcase and head for the courthouse on judgement day. I wanted to ask you to stay each time you dropped by after work. I wanted you there even when I rushed you out. I - I - God, I just wanna hold you."

There was silence on the other line, and Stacie was sure that Aubrey had dropped the call. The brunette could not bring herself to move or check. She was lost in the fact that she had just revealed her deepest, darkest secret to the object of her affections, to the reason she had held a secret to begin with. She was dumbfounded by the fact that she had at last admitted it to not only Aubrey but to herself. The line was dead. There was no doubt about it. It was _too_ quiet. Yet she couldn't bring herself to put the phone down. She was frozen in this state with no semblance of stability. Then there was a knock at the door that pulled her from her trance.

Dropping her phone on the pillow beside the empty bottle, she moved to answer the visitor. The moment the door was cracked open, a force shoved it further from the outside to reveal Aubrey in her robe and nightgown, hair in disarray and eyes still shedding tears. Before Stacie could process it, the blonde had flung herself into the brunette's arms, burying her nose in the crook of the taller woman's neck. Stacie shut the door, wrapping her arms around Aubrey's waist gingerly and inhaling her addicting scent of lavender and vanilla. Pulling back, the blonde cupped her cheeks, smiling through her tears before pressing her lips to Stacie's. Time halted, anguish transformed into relief. Her touch alone alleviated the most destructive pain, and Stacie welcomed it without retaliation.

"You can," the blonde whispered against her lips. "You can have all of me, any of me. I don't care. I just - want to be here."

"What - I - I can't just have some of you, Aubrey. I _need_ all of you."

The blonde nodded, a smile fighting its way to her lips. "Then - ask me to stay."

"Will you - stay?"

"Yes. Yes, I will." Stacie kissed her once more, pulling her impossibly closer. "Wh-what is it, Stace? What do you need from me? Anything, I'll give it to you."

"Just - love, Bree. Just - give me love."


End file.
